Day 244

I swear I literally have to pee every twenty minutes, and like it helps that its flippin cold outside! My bare feet touch our tile floor and oops I hope I make it to the toilette in time! Today has been a very dreary day. So of course my pregnancy hormones go into super hydro sad mode and I spend half the day crying for no apparent reason. Granted, I do have alot on my mind, like the fact that I'm five weeks from having a baby and I'm living with my fiance at his parents house. By the way all the baby stuff (you know crib, cradle, clothes, etc) is at my parents house because it doesn't fit in my darling fiance's 15x20 square foot room.  His room is painted like a giant Texas flag by the way. He's twenty five. I know, I know you're probably thinking to yourself, "What the Hell? Is this girl stupid?" Just allow me to explain the severity of our situation. You see, my wonderful fiance is a Marine. He is a reservist Marine, and apparently he can serve two tours in Iraq but he just isn't "qualified" enough to get a job in this hell hole of a town. People expect him to put his life in danger for their freedom, but they just can't seem to hire him because they can't handle that he has military duties every month. Long story short, he doesn't make enough money working one weekend a month for drill so he's been left with no other choice than to live with his parents. Seeing as we're having a child together and we plan on getting married soon, I too am living with his parents, and boy is it different. For example, we have now had his parents walk in during moments of intimacy at least five or six times. As if that wasn't awkward enough, on each occasion his parents failed to realize what they had interrupted and proceeded to have long drawn out conversations with my fiance and I, while we cover our nude bodies and try not to let our breathing give us away. Also, his mother has the tv on at least 8 out of 12 hours of daylight. It's pretty much the most annoying thing in the world. The majority of the time she watches the news, which is even more annoying. Don't get me wrong, I think it's important to stay informed and know what's going on in our country, but come on!! Fourty plus hours of Fox news a week is just askin too much. I swear my patience has been getting a major workout here lately. I'd love to continue complaining about my current living arrangements but truth be told I'm just happy to be spending my time with my fiance. See, we recently found out he's on the list to deploy to Afghanistan in January. I'm really frustrated because like I said BABY...WEDDING!!! Hello!! What am I supposed to think? I'm about to start a life with the man of my dreams and he's getting dragged away from me. Don't get me wrong. I am the most patriotic, gung ho nineteen year old girl on the planet, I'm just upset. Especially since we have a president right now who showed more concern for his March Madness pick than he ever did for the men and women serving our country. I however refuse to spend more of my precious time talking about mister Obama so on to the next subject. How the heck am I going to care for a baby!!?? I know. I really should have thought about this before I decided to be reckless and irresponsible with my fiance but gee willakers am I clueless. I keep going online to like parents.com and parenting.com and I keep thinking, "Am I supposed to know all this stuff?" I seriously feel like I'm having an anxiety attack every time I read a new article about birth defects and complications and what to do and what not to do. I hope beyond all hopes I don't permanently screw my poor kid up. I think my only solace in all of this mess has been my psychology class. I made the best decision of my life and went back to college after I found out I was pregnant and thank goodness because I don't know what I would do without my psychology class. It's actually developmental psychology so I"m learning all about babies and children and parenting. And it's pretty much the best class ever. My proffesor has put to rest alot of the hype that goes along with being a parent. You know like the fear that you'll permanently screw up your kid ;) Anyway, I have to pee again so I guess its bon voyage. Until next time...